


Aegon the Younger and the King's Simple Daughter

by Sookiestark



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Depression, Dragons, F/M, Gen, House Targaryen, Post Dance of the Dragons, Red Keep, Suicidal Thoughts, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-06-14 13:19:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15389613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sookiestark/pseuds/Sookiestark
Summary: Aegon III and Jaehaera Targaryen





	1. Dragonstone 130 AC- Aegon the Younger

**Author's Note:**

> 11/23/18- Hi all- Just a heads up... I just tagged this AU- canon divergence. I am going to add and revise the chapters I wrote and finish the last few remaining really soon. I will try to remain faithful to the canon. However, if there are any inconsistencies, canon divergence. PS. Thanks for reading.

My cell is five steps long and ten steps wide, I am nine years old and they call me Aegon the Younger. My uncle is King. I might be ten now. I do not know the date. I was born on the tenth day of the twelfth month. I know I have been in the dungeon for over a moon. At first, I would mark the days with a pencil on the wall. But, I stopped quickly as there seemed no point to mark time. 

At first, they threw me in the darkest cells in Dragonstone, the ones in the deep part of the island’s belly. I screamed and cried like a baby in there for the first hour. Then, a Maester came and told me that my sister Baela was here in the castle and she wanted me to know she loved me and would keep me safe, to be strong and remember I was a Targaryen. He brought me broth and bread and left me in the dark. 

I do not want to be a Targaryen. After all, Targaryens rail and rant and rage. Targaryens kill each other. Targaryens burn and bleed. I have no desire for those things. I have no desire for the Iron Throne. All I want is a good pork pie and Mushroom to cartwheel and juggle. All I want is my brothers to be alive again and I want Mother, even if she was the worst Targaryen who ever drew breath. 

I did not do well in the darkest cells. All I could see in the dark were my memories and my family; Jace, Luc, Joff, Father, Viserys, and Mama. Mama was the person who dominated my thoughts, the smell of her perfume, the feel of her strong protective arms, the pretty color of her eyes, the six rings she had on her fingers that she would twist and turn all day and night. 

"Six rings," she would say, "One for each of my sons and one for my daughter I will have." When I was small, long before the wars and death had disrupted my childhood, Viserys and I would each sit on her lap and ask which one of us she loved best. She would laugh and said she loved us all the best, She had no favorites. However, I would see how she looked at Viserys who was the image of Father and she adored him. I wish I could have been braver or stronger and saved him. Six bites were all it took for Sunfyre to eat her. Now, Mother and all her sons are dead and only I remain. 

Every time, I close my eyes in the dark, I would see Mother holding me tight as we watch Joff fly off to the Dragonpit. I would hear her telling me how she would regroup her forces and hatch more dragon eggs, that the Iron Throne would be hers. I keep seeing how Sunfyre did not want to hurt Mother, as if it sensed the Valyrian blood, but King Aegon wanted my mother to die. They had to cut her arm with a dagger. My Mother laughed, a terrible sound, taunting the King. When the half-blinded, injured dragon smelled the blood, he did as his rider bid and ate Mother.

I did not do well in the dark. I did not eat. I did not move. I think I had a fever because I don’t think I ever was able to stand to relieve myself in the pot. On the fourth day in the dark, they brought men to carry me to a cell with a window. The Maester was there. His name is Hunnimore and he said he would help me. 

They brought me books some green wooden soldiers and a golden wooden dragon to play with. After all, Maester says I am a child and I need some fresh air. Once a week, they take me for a walk in the yard where Mother died. Other things happened in that yard but it is harder to remember them. I remember Father teaching me to hold a sword and shoot a bow. I remember once that Jace danced Baela around the yard after she was teasing him about how he couldn’t dance. There was nothing Jace could not do. There were happy times in this place once. I sometimes wonder if there will be again. 

 

There is a servant girl loyal to my mother who tells me bits of information that she knows when she brings me food. Sometimes, she tells me of the battles still being fought. Sometimes, she tells me what the servants think the King will do. Sometimes, she reminds me of my name. I think she might have been sweet on one of my older brothers, or maybe father. She is pretty and eager to offer me information. Sometimes, she cries a little to see me in a cell, in such terrible conditions. 

She brings me food twice a day and water to drink. She brings me a bowl of cool water and a rag to wash up once a week. From the cold air that blows through the bars of the windows, I know that winter has come. I know that even though my circumstance is terrible, it will be much worse for the smallfolk soon. I have a blanket and food twice a day. Soon the people will freeze and starve.

Maester Hunnimore comes to check on me daily. He brings me books and tries to cheer me up. Once, he told me it concerned him how melancholy I was. I told him I would try and be better if he would bring me new books. He laughed and I knew I made a friend of the man. I have asked him if I will be able to see my sister. He told me that he could not make that happen but that she watches me walk about the yard. 

 

The King does not like to come to see me in my cell. He was badly burned fighting Princess Rhaenys and even more injured while fighting my sister, Baela. Sometimes, they have me brought to his chambers for it is hard for him to walk to me. King Aegon the Second’s legs are healing and he may never walk without assistance again. Before they bring me to him, they wash and dress me. He sits in his bed and I find that when I am able to look at him, he resembles mother. 

 

The first time, he made me recite the oath I made him, swearing fealty and his right to the Iron Throne. He looked at me like I was a bug in his soup. “They tell me that you should be my heir since I have no sons anymore. At least, until I am remarried and have more sons. What do you think, Boy?”

I spoke, “I think that you are the King and what you decide is law and I will follow because I am a loyal servant to House Targaryen.”

My Uncle clapped and laughed, “Well done. You are a clever boy. They said you were clever and you seem well-made. You will do until I am remarried. I am wedding a Baratheon girl. Her father is one of my biggest allies and taking back King’s Landing as we speak. But you will do..” 

The second and final time the King called me to his rooms, he was mad with grief over the death of his dragon, Sunfyre. King Aegon II smelled like wine and his sheets on his bed were thrown on the floor. I remembered when my Mother had called us to this very room after Visenya had come too soon and Aegon had stolen her crown. I know how treasonous this thought is but they look so similar, their pale skin blotchy with emotion, their lips pouting and cruel, their jaws set in stubbornness. “My dragon is dead. She was the most beautiful dragon and now she is dead. Do you know how a rider feels when his dragon dies, Boy?”

I hesitate and wonder if I should tell him my dragon Stormcloud died out in the same yard that Sunfyre died. I want to tell him how much i willed and prayed that he would make it, how desperate and tired and terribly injured he was. Still, he lifted his wings, again and again, to bring me to safety. I speak, “I am, Your Grace. I lost my dragon but he wasn’t as lovely as Sunfyre.”

The King’s eyes narrow and I wonder if I misspoke. He motions for me to come closer, “Come here, boy.”

He doesn't call me by my name. If he would call me Aegon, it would remind him that I am his nephew, his family, his heir. Nameless, as Boy, I am an object, a trophy that he has won. I come to him and stand by his bed. The King is covered in burns and scars. His legs are in casts and braces. It is said he is in constant pain. 

The King touches my face, “You look like your father. Has anyone told you that?’

“No, Your Grace.” 

The King continues, “Your father was a terrible prick. I hated him. Daemon Targaryen, the most handsome and dashing Rogue Prince. I hated him. Do you know your father told me on my wedding night that he took my mother and my elder sister’s maidenhead and he would gladly help me take my wife’s if I needed assistance? You do not have your father’s manners, even if you have his look.”

The King pushes me onto my knees and he is touching himself. “Perhaps, I should fuck his son, make you my whore, like your father wanted to do with my wife. I hope he watches me in the Seven Hells use you.”

I am afraid and confused, but I do not move. After all, he is the King and I swore an oath to obey. It is clear he despises me. I keep my eyes on the mattresses and focus on counting the stitches. Something is wrong. Perhaps, he has drunk too much wine or his grief is too great. Perhaps, I have done something wrong or right. I will never know.

 

Instead, the King roars at me to get out. I scramble to my feet and rush from the room to the rough arms of the guards who take me back to my cell. 

The next day, the serving girl tells me Lord Borros Baratheon has secured King’s Landing and the King and I are heading to the Capitol.


	2. Storm's End 130 AC- Jaehaera

I walk the length of the yard at Storm's End and Ser Fell follows me. He is my shadow. My shadow falls. It is Fell. 

I like Storm’s End. The sound of the sea and the falling rain help me sleep. The smell of the pines and the trees is a better smell than the city of King’s Landing which smells like a privy. There is less noise, fewer sounds, fewer reasons to get nervous. At Storm’s End, I can enjoy the sunlight, the fresh air and the fact my Grandmother is not here to tell me to behave. 

 

Lord Boros has a daughter. Her name is Cassandra. She has dark hair and blue eyes. She is sixteen. She rides horses and has ladies. She gives me sweets and braids my hair.  
But she calls me simple behind my back. Her ladies laugh and say I am pretty but odd, not right in the head. 

I try to do better, to be better, to remember how to be a lady and a princess. I always forget. It is hard to remember. I do not know what I did wrong. I do not know how to be better. I want Cassandra to love me, to like me, but instead, she makes fun of me. They think I do not understand, that I am stupid. I learned that is what simple means. I am not stupid. I am just not like them. I am different.

I remember my mother told me to smile more, to make small talk, to giggle softly and cover my mouth when I eat tea cakes. I am seven. I received word that Mother died but no one will tell me how. Shortly after that, word came that Maelor died. When I learned that little Maelor died, I tore at my skin and beat my head against the stones. I think I must have caused a terrible scene. Ser Fell took me in his arms and held me close like Mother had shown him, tight and constant. When I was done crying, he took me to the Maester to be treated for my injuries. Trying to comfort me, he told me that I still had my Father. 

I had looked at him and asked him, “Ser Fell, I do not want Father to be my father. Perhaps, you might be my father. After all, he is often cross with me. But you are never cross with me.”

He had smiled and said, “Princess Jaehaera, I cannot. You have but one father and yours is my King. I will be your knight, to protect and keep you safe.” 

Cassandra will be queen and my step-mother. Lord Boros has conquered King's Landing, and when he conquers the Black’s army in the riverlands, my father will wed this girl and she will be Queen and my mother. She will have children and I will have brothers and sisters again. We will be a family and I must do better to make her pleased. Once, I overheard Cassandra saying she would send me to the Silent Sisters after she has children. 

Later, I asked Ser Fell if I would have to go. He said he did not think the King would send his eldest daughters to the Sisters. “You are too valuable, too important.”  
I hugged him. Ser Fell was surprised and hugged me back. He did not expect such informality and he knows I do not like too much touch. I am glad to have a friend who will keep me safe. Since Mother has died, I do not know if anyone will ever care for me like she had. 

Uncle Aemond used to tell me I was special like Mother. He would say, "In a House, full of boys, you are a girl. A Targaryen girl is a terrible, wonderful thing."

He would laugh and throw me in the air and catch me. Uncle Aemond was my favorite. It is said when I was a baby I would not smile and I would not cry often. However, I have been told that I would always smile and laugh for Uncle Aemond.

Uncle Aemond died on the back of Vhagar. Maelor, Daeron, Jaehaerys, Aemond, Mother, they are all dead. I must not think of them. I need to focus on being better, a proper lady, not an odd, simple girl. Tomorrow, Cassandra and I are going to King’s Landing to rejoin Father and I will miss Storm’s End.


	3. Aegon- King's Landing 131 AC

The Red Keep is a strange, big place and King’s Landing is bigger and stranger, still. Dragonstone has always been my home and yet, I will probably die in this big, strange place, surrounded by enemies and ghosts. I only lived here for a few months and it seems so long ago, though it has been less than a year. Mother, Father, Joff and I lived here but for such a short time. Now, Joffrey is dead and Mother is dead, too. 

Some say Father is alive with Nettles in the Vale but I know my Father. If he knew I was alive here as both a prisoner and the Prince of Dragonstone, he would come to rescue me. I love my father and I know he loves me too. He would tell me how when I was born how he held me and I smiled, less than an hour old, as if I knew he was my father. He had prayed for me and here I was. He named me the strongest and the best name he knew, Aegon. 

When father was still here with us in King’s Landing, he would come to my room every night. In fact, almost every night, he slept with me instead of Mother. I understood Mother was difficult and even at nine, I could see his eyes follow Nettles as she stood out of my mother’s sight. But still I was his only son and he would always look to me and tell me the War would be over soon and Mother would calm down when it was finished and all would be well. Father always was reassuring.

Father would spend nights telling me stories of his adventures until I fell asleep. On the last night before he left to finish the war in the Riverlands, I remember asking him not to leave. I was afraid because I had heard how ghosts roamed the halls of the Red Keep and murderers roamed King’s Landing. Father had smiled and said, “Never be afraid of King’s Landing. This is my city and the people love me here. They will love you, too, because you are my son and one day you will sit on the Iron Throne.”

I wanted to say Joff would be king, not me, but I did not want to correct him so I said nothing. 

Father would hug and kiss me and then he would wrestle me and laugh. He would tell me stories of his adventures and his achievements like when he received Dark Sister from King Jaehaerys himself. He spoke, squeezing my hand, “That was the happiest day of my life until you were born. I waited almost forty years for you but you were with worth the wait.”

He taught me how to ride Stormcloud around the yard. Father showed me how to hold a sword and shield. Once, I asked him to hold Dark Sister. He let me but told me that my blade would be Blackfyre. I never corrected him but I knew Blackfyre would go to the King and that would be Jace. His mistakes were secrets between us like he wanted me to be King because I was good and strong and he was proud of me, because I was his blood. I knew they were not mistakes and now, I feel guilty. I should have told him that it would be Jace. I feel treasonous and shame like I wished for Jace to die. I did not. I loved him. Father was good at convincing you to do what he wanted. He would teach me how to read a man and how to rule them. He even tried to teach me how to make men love you. I tried to learn all I could. 

The best part about when Father was here is that I always felt safe and strong beside him. I never felt that with Mother, no matter how she held me or kept me close. The last week before Father left, we waved to the crowds as he passed out bread to the people. Mother did not want me too close so that I would not be hurt. One day, when the people were cheering my Father’s name as he handed out rations, he called for me and he lifted me up so all could see his son. He shouted, “This is my son, Prince Aegon, and he will be your King some day. “

The crowd cheered and my father laughed and reveled in their love. Even though I felt safe, all I could see was danger among them. He was right. King’s Landing was his city and they loved my father. However, as much as they loved father, they hated mother. He had promised to return if he could and help me, teach me all he could, and have adventures of our own instead of stories about adventures.

Father never comes and so I know he is dead. 

There are many people at the Court of King Aegon II that I must learn and not forget. Some I remember from before. One of those men is Grandfather. Only, he is not my grandfather. He is my brothers' and sisters' grandfather, the Sea Snake, Lord Corlys Velaryon. He seems sick and thin. He had been in the dungeons like I have. Only he was kept in the Black Cells, which is a terrible place. He has a gold tooth like he is a pirate. Even in weakened health, he has a good laugh. I notice him first because Father always said he was our man, which meant he could be trusted, he was safe.

Lord Corlys was the newly appointed Hand of the King, which even I could tell had some of his Small Council upset. When we entered the throne room, King Aegon went first, carried in a palanquin and I followed in the throne room by foot. Further back, Baela comes limping and slowly. I know I am not supposed to talk to her but knowing she is behind me helps me. Lord Velaryon barely noticed me. He is cold and distant but he embraces Baela tells her he loves her, and he prayed for her safety. 

As I prepare for dinner, Lord Corlys comes to my room. He tells me not to fear anything. He tells me, “I will make it right for you, for all of us. For all, we have lost. We still have each other.”

Lord Corlys does not touch me in front of others. “It is important they do not know my affection for you. They need to think I do not favor you. They need to think I hate you because my own blood will not sit on the Iron Throne. But I do not. I gave up that dream a long time ago.”

While he is in my rooms, he grows nostalgic briefly, “You look like your father. I miss him. He was a good man and a good friend, even if he was a scoundrel. All the best men are... Do not give up hope. King Aegon the Second is deciding whether you should marry his daughter. Do you remember your cousin, Jaehaera? The Lords are calling for it as a way to win the peace. It might be the only way that the King can keep his head but I am not sure if the rebels will want anything but his head on the Red Keep.”

Lord Corlys is a talkative man and he reminds me of Father. His mention of his grandsons, who were before me in succession, and now dead bring me to my memories and my grief and shame. I feel I must tell him how I tried, “My Lord.. Grandfather, I tried to defend Mother. I picked up Ser Dark’s sword to defend her but Ser Broome knocked it away. I was not strong enough. “

“Aegon, you were not yet ten. Your mother was probably so pleased you made an attempt, but I knew your mother. Her whole life she wanted you safe, above all else. Aegon... Listen to me. My son, Laenor, your mother and father, and my poor Laena all made choices but they were grown. Luc and Jace were men. Maybe they were young, but when you play at war, you are men. Maybe, Joff was too young, but you are the youngest and I would never want you to have shame or guilt from that. Your mother wouldn’t either. Now, eat.” 

He brings me cheese, fruit, some apple tarts, and roasted chicken. “Eat, Aegon. We must get you big and strong, big enough to swing Blackfyre.”

 

I eat for him and it seems to make him happy. However, mentions of me being King is too much. I speak, “My Lord, I mean no disrespect, but Blackfyre is the King’s. May the Seven save the King. I have no desire to swing Blackfyre or even hold it. Dark Sister, I would like to have but I hear it is on the bottom of the God’s Eye with the bones of Vhagar.”

Lord Corlys laughs, “Truth. May the Seven save the King. You are Daemon’s son it seems. We will get you Dark Sister, somehow, someday.”

Lord Corlys takes and apple tart and bites it, “ Aegon, do you remember your cousin? Do you remember Jaehaera?”

“I do not know if I do, my Lord.” 

“Tonight there will be a feast for the King’s return to King’s Landing. Say nothing. King Aegon is tense. Watch and listen. Remember I am your friend.”

Lord Corlys leaves as quickly as he came. 

Baela, my sister, is finally allowed to see me. I haven’t seen her in a year. Unlike when Lord Corlys visited, there are two Kingsguard who watch our every move and all our words. I do not remember the names of the specific knights yet. But I will make it my business to know. Father said it was good to know everything, all their secrets and their dreams about the men who keep watch while you sleep. It inspires loyalty he would say. 

One side of Baela’s face is burned, as is her left shoulder and left arm. She walks with a limp and it seems painful but she barely shows it. As she hugs me tightly, I imagine it is two years ago and no one is dead and we are all still safe and happy on Dragonstone. She speaks, ”Aegon. Little Aegon, I would watch you walk the yard every week. I am so glad we are together. Rhaena is coming in a fortnight.”

I am so glad to see her but I find it is hard to look at her. She was once so beautiful sister. If Mother had survived, she would have looked like Baela, after Sunfyre burned her. The thought of Mother makes sorrow and grief swell in my heart. Baela is only allowed to be with me for a few minutes but she kisses me and promises to see me at the feast tonight. 

The feast is a sad affair. First, it is not well attended and the lack of people is apparent, especially to the King. Many Lords could not make it. Some could not make it for they are dead or trying to deal with the winter upon them. Some did not want to be found in King’s Landing when the Lord Stark’s men are descending from the North with fury and certain death. Some have gone with Lord Borros Baratheon to fight Lord Tully and the Riverlanders. 

There are still many people here and I need to learn them and remember them. This is how I will survive and I am my Father’s son. I will survive. 

The King is busy on the dais with his betrothed, Lady Cassandra. Lord Corlys comes to me and whispers, “Come, Prince Aegon, Let’s introduce you to the Court and Small Council of the King.”

Behind him, he guides him to the first seating at the end of the main table. It is the Queen Mother Alicent. It seems the King would like to keep his mother far from him to seat her so. Lady Alicent, the Queen Mother, is golden and fair through the years have not been kind. I remember her so much prettier when I think back. Of course, Mother had thrown her in the dungeons. Captivity is hard on the body.

Lady Alicent was thin-lipped and though she smiled at me, I had the feeling she would stab me if she could. Her fingers grazed my cheek and she pinched it speaking, “He looks like my poor, dead Viserys. Only he will be taller and have such big shoulders. Hopefully, you will be a good boy not given to treachery and treason.” 

I looked at her and spoke, ”My lady, Queen Mother, I will try to be good, a good faithful subject. I love the King.” 

His mother had always called Alicent a snake and Father agreed though he had often teased she had certain charms. His older brothers would snicker and Aegon had known he was too young to understand but could not wait until he would be old enough to understand his father's jokes. He wanted to say something strong and smart but he thought better of it. After all, Lord Corly said watch and listen.

Larys Strong, Lord of Harrenhal, the Master of Whispers was the next man I met. He had the look of Jace and Joff, the brown eyes, the pug nose, the same mouse brown hair. The man spoke with the voice of honey and it made me slightly sick, “Aegon the Younger... We are glad you are well. The Kingdom has worried about your safety.” 

“Thank you, Lord Strong. Your Family has always served House Targaryen. Your Father and brother were good loyal men. I appreciate all your works and deeds, as well. They will all be remembered.”

The Old Sea Snake patted me on the shoulder and raised an eyebrow, steering me away from the main table. Lord Corlys whispered to me, "Perhaps you are like your father and less like your grandfather.”

When we returned to my table off the main one, Baela was there. She had been late to the feast. Baela hugged him and laughed “Lady Alicent thought you looked like Father. That old fickle whore! Do not trust that one! Or Lord Larys..”

At some point, Lady Alicent comes to the table with a little girl, standing slightly behind her. She speaks carefully as I scramble to my feet, showing my manners. “Aegon, this is your cousin, Princess Jaehaera. Princess, my dear, this is your cousin, Aegon.” 

Jaehaera smiled at me. For the first time in forever, I saw an openness, a willingness to be affectionate. Immediately, she looked guiltily at her grandmother, searching her memory as if she was trying to remember something. She smiled quickly, straightened her golden skirts and extended her hand as if remembering her lines and cues. “I am so glad to meet you, my Lord. We have been waiting for you and my father to return. I just made the trip from Storm's End. I haven't had anyone to play with near my age. Grandmother says you are near to me in age. Your name is Aegon.. Were you named after father?” 

I kissed her hand and bowed. I kept her tiny hand in my own, afraid I might be sweating and not sure if and when I should let it go. She was such a tiny thing, so young. This was my future bride. 

When she asked the last question, Baela laughed out loud. Tentatively, I looked at the Queen Mother who was looking at her only grandchild as if she grew three heads. 

I must have met Jaehaera long ago but I do not remember her, not really. She seems distracted as she stands there. But when she smiles, she is the prettiest thing I have ever seen. She reminds me of a porcelain doll and silver-haired like she was my sister, my mother’s elusive daughter

As I was standing there, under the gaze of the entire court, I remembered a story Father would tell of when he met Laena Velaryon, his second wife. I can remember the soft, almost wistful smile Father would get every time he had told the story. One night before he left, he had told me the story again, 

“I had been gone a long time and though I had been around when Laena was born, it was a long time since I had seen her. When I walked in the Driftmark, she was sitting beside her father. I couldn’t see anything, not all the gold that the Sea Snake had gilded everywhere, not her lovely mother, not the clutch of recently hatched dragon eggs, not the harbor full of Braavosi ships, laden with exotic treasure. The only thing I could see was her, Laena. Laena was all the treasure I ever wanted. The only time I never craved a crown was when Laena’s hand was in mine. 

At this point, Father leaned in close, as if he was sharing a secret, “One time, Laena picked flowers and made them into a crown. I wore it the whole day, happy. Love makes fools of us, happy fools. If she had lived I would have been happy with my crown of flowers and her smile. Laena understood the simple things. Aegon, marry at least once for love. Promise me.”

Even at the time, I remembered thinking my father was drunk because if he was sober, he would not talk so. My father wanted the crown and the Iron Throne as much as my mother. But it is a nice memory to think he wanted me to love someone, to be loved. In the end, I think my father might have been a bit romantic. 

For a moment, I wonder if I will tell our children how I thought she was the prettiest thing I had ever seen and how she had asked if I was named after her father. 

 

There is too much food. There are jugglers and musicians. Even a dwarf. The dwarf I remember. Father always liked him. His name is Mushroom. He juggles colored balls and tumbles, even though he seems as old as my mother. When I laugh at his impression of Larys Strong, he sees me and catches my laughter with a look of intelligence. I hear my Father’s voice telling me to not trust him but he might be a friend. He drops all the balls and with great flourish, bows, “My Prince Aegon, we are glad to see you safe and well.”

Mushroom looks to the King and makes a loud farting noise in case the King reads his too much sentiment in it and takes offense. Mushroom placates the King by playing the fool. Perhaps, I could learn from Mushroom. After all, he is still alive when so many are dead. 

We end the feast by going out to the balcony and waving to the crowds. It is cold and they are cheering but they are also screaming for food and wood for fires. But the cheers cover up the other yells. After all, King Aegon II has just returned and there is still hope. The King is smiling. The Queen Mother is smiling. Lady Cassandra Baratheon is smiling. Lord Corlys Velaryon is smiling but Princess Jaehaera does not smile. The crowd cheers and I notice how she flinches and the smile runs off her face. The way her shoulders lift I know she does not like the noises of screaming mobs. Her brothers were both murdered. There has been too much screaming, too many murderous crowds. 

She looks at me and whispers so only I can hear. “It is always so noisy in the Great Hall and in crowds. I wonder why we always have to entertain so many people. Why do they always have to yell?” 

“I agree,” I tell her and squeeze her hand. She smiles and we are friends. It is a start.


	4. King's Landing 131 AC- Jaehaera

I have more duties now that I am with my father. My grandmother visits me every day. Grandmother looks older. She is thinner and never laughs. She still has her critical stare. That hasn’t changed. Sometimes I think she blames me that only Father and I remain of her whole family. Sometimes I think she wishes Mother chose me to be given to Blood and Cheese. She will look at me and say, “You have your mother’s look, but you will be thinner. She was a pretty child, Helaena.” 

 

My days have been busy, almost frantic. In the morning, I have several maids wake me. One of them is my father’s bastard, my sister. My grandmother has kept the girl close. She is roughly my age. Her name is Kelly Waters. She has blonde hair and lilac eyes. Her mother had been one of my Grandmother’s ladies from the Reach. Kelly’s mother died when King’s Landing was invaded by the Blacks. Kelly was named after a color of green. 

My Septa comes and teaches me my prayers and lessons. Sometimes, if it is clear out we'll go riding on my horse and Ser Fell and other soldiers. Sometimes, my dancing instructor will teach me to dance. Sometimes, my tutors will come and teach me lessons. When that happens, Aegon, my cousin, will be there to learn with me. 

Aegon always has a smile for me but he has a sad quality about him. That is what makes him smile so special. 

When we do not have lessons, Aegon visits once a day. He and I will play or talk or read or draw. He loves my drawings and says he does not have the skill but I think he could. He has a keen eye and is observant like a bird. I see him flutter about with song and a silver plumage avoiding danger. 

Most of my days are being beside Father in the Great Hall. Recently, we have had word that Lord Borros Baratheon was slain by Lord Tully and his forces broken in the Riverlands. We know that Lord Stark is coming closer. Father wants me close. Father’s moods are volatile now. He has taken to fits of laughter and rage and no one can calm him, not even Jocella. However, since word of her Father’s death, she is all tears.

My father's mood has been foul. 

An army of wolves is upon us. The Greens may hold King’s Landing but they have lost. My mother told me before we fled to not trust Father. She patted my head, “He will hurt you… If it is between you and that ugly chair, he will choose the chair. The Iron Throne is all he has and all he thinks about.”

Every night there is a feast, though every night the attendance grows less and less. Tonight the audience is very thin. Word is that anyone who is able is fleeing the city, bribing the City Watch, sneaking into the darkness.

Tonight, Lord Velaryon told him Lord Stark would be outside the gates soon, most likely by morning. The Wolf comes as does winter, wreaking death and vengeance for Princess Rhaenyra. He tells Father that the remaining forces are calling for him to take the Black. He is a Kinslayer and he broke his promise to his father, King Viserys. He murdered his sister. 

Father screams, “I will not take the Black! I will not wear black the rest of my days!” 

I want to tell him that black is the color of House Targaryen and he has worn it before many times. It would not be too hard. Somehow I know I should not speak.  
My father tells Lord Velaryon to cut off Aegon’s ear and send it to Lord Stark. “Tell the Wolf if he comes any closer to the gates of King’s Landing, I will kill the boy. If they kill me, I will kill him. Let us all die together. One big happy family. I will feed Jaehaera myself poisoned wine if they breach the gates.”

His laugh is ugly. I look at Aegon and he looks at me. I look at Father. Lord Velaryon speaks gentle, whispered words in his ear and my father agrees, laughing. His Hand has soothed the King. No blood is spilled tonight. My father calls for his palanquin and Lord Corlys helps him in, handing him his glass before he shuts the door.

As my Septa comes to gather me to bed, I rush to Aegon the Younger and give him a paper flower I have folded for him.

He looks at me confused.

I speak to him, “It is winter and flowers do not grow, so we must make our flowers where we can.” 

He smiles at me and says, “When it is not winter, we will have plenty of flowers in the garden again.” 

I want to tell him to flee. I know my father will kill him. I have no allies here to help him. Perhaps, he has his own. 

I have just gotten in bed in my sleeping dress when the knock is heard on my door and the bells start ringing. My Septa answers the door and Ser Fell and the Hand of the King, Lord Corlys, come in my room. My grandmother has told me not to let any men in my room except Father and Ser Fell. Ser Fell might be a Kingsguard but he is still my shadow, always watching, always wary. My Septa is screeching about how late it is and how they should go.

Lord Velaryon tells me to dress. My Septa pulls out a white dress or pink. Lord Velaryon shakes his head. “Dress her in black or red. Her Father, the King, is dead and she is all that is left of his line and Head of the Greens. Put her in black.”

“Father is dead?” I ask him. 

He kneels at me, “Yes, Princess.” 

“Is Aegon alright, my Lord? Is he safe? Did Father…”

“He is safe. I must go to see him on the Iron Throne and you will join him there.” 

“My Grandmother?” I only ask because she is family and it is important to protect family. 

“I have put her in her rooms until after Lord Stark swears fealty and sees Aegon on the throne. It is for her safety.” 

 

I remember when Morghul died. It was night and I woke screaming. I remember when I heard Mother died and I hurt myself crying for her. I remember weeping for Maelor. I remember when Jaehaerys died I felt as though a piece of me died. However, I feel nothing but relief that Father is dead. I wonder what is wrong with me. 

As quick as he came, Lord Velayron leaves. Ser Fell speaks waking me from my thoughts, “Hurry, Princess. The bells are ringing. The King is dead. The gates are open. Lord Stark and his men are in the city. We must get you to the Throne Room quickly.” 

I dress quickly, obediently, and silently. My Septa scurried around, weeping, “We should wake the maids to help braid her hair.” 

Ser Fell speaks roughly, “There is no time! We must get the child to the Throne Room. Do you think that old bastard Velaryon has woken maids to get Aegon dressed? Hurry, woman!” 

 

Ser Fell picks me up and one of my shoes was falls in the darkness of the hallway. He starts to run. All I can hear are the bells tolling and my heart pounding. This is the end. He carries me through the halls. I am looking over his shoulder, as the hallways grow long. The bells are loud and I think how I should be afraid but I am not. I think how my lord Father put Gaemon to the lash at the age of five and I wonder what punishment will be meted out to me. 

I ask, my arms around Ser Fell’s neck, “Will Lord Stark beat me for being a traitor like father did to Gaemon, or will he throw me in the Black Cells?”

Ser Fell stops and looks at me. “Princess, you must trust that Lord Stark is an honorable man and he has stated you will come to no harm. We must hurry but I would not rush you towards and unsafe place.”

I think of the story of Aegon's mother, my aunt Rhaenyra, who I can't remember. I think how her Queensguard all died, defending her in a place they thought she would be safe. I think how I would cry if Ser Fell falls. I would cry hard like when Morghul died or Jaehaerys.

I speak again, not meaning to be disobedient or willful. “Ser, you have been my good and faithful servant and sworn shield all these months, my only protection. Please do not do anything foolish to save me. I am the daughter of Aegon II and will take whatever judgment is measured out. I accept my fate but I would not see you hurt. Promise me…”

“Shhh... Princess, we must away” 

When we enter the Throne Room, Aegon is on the Iron Throne. They have Mother’s chair beside it and a small step stool. Ser Fell sets me down, “Go, Princess.”

I walk up all the steps and when I reach the top, Aegon steps off the Throne and helps me to my chair by his side. Lord Velayron is beside him. He smiles at me, “Jaehaera, we will be safe.”

When he sits, there is a great clatter and the doors to the Throne Room open. On a huge black war horse, a man in bloody armor comes. It is Cregan Stark and his men rush into the room. 

He comes up the stairs, taking two or three at a time. When he reaches the top, he kneels in front of Aegon III and swears his fealty. When they are done speaking, Lord Starks kneels before me. 

Lord Stark, with his ice eyes, asks me “How are you, Princess?” 

I extend my hand and say “I am Princess Jaehaera Targaryen and I am very well, my Lord. Welcome to King’s Landing.”

He laughs and it is a gruff, welcome sound. Aegon looks over him and smiles. Perhaps, no one will be hurt this time.


	5. King's Landing 131 AC-Aegon III

Cregan Stark is my Hand for one day. I like Cregan Stark. He is honest and not given to flattery. He is honorable. I want to ask him to stay but he will not. Instead, he tells me that he will stay for my wedding and then he will leave. I wonder if he seems my anxiety because he tells me, “Your Grace, I will come back. Your brother promised my House a Targaryen princess. I will come back frequently to check in on you and your bride. If you have need of me, send word.”

“I will, Lord Stark. Your service to my House will be rewarded.” 

He looks at me, “Your Grace, I do not trust many here at court. I would say you could trust Lord Tyland and Lord Torrhen. If you have any trouble send word and I will come to your aid.”

Lord Cregan sounds like strength and action to me and I am certain he never feels the weight of hopelessness or sadness I feel. In one day, he has tried all the men he felt responsible and two of their heads dress the ramparts. He will take the rest of them and go North. He will leave after my wedding. It is strange that I will miss him when he is a stranger.

I wonder why he tells me to talk to Lord Tyland and not Lord Corlys. I do not understand why he hates him so much but it has taken all of Rhaena’s and Baela’s cunning, as well as the beautiful, raven-haired Lady Alys Blackwood’s hand to allow him free from the Black Cells. 

I am hoping these dark thoughts I have will lessen in the days to come. I know I am young and I have seen too much and time heals all wounds and all the other sayings people say to me to try and make me smile. I have stopped telling people what I think because I know it worries them. I do not mean to make anyone uncomfortable. I mean to be the best King I can be. I mean to never go to war and keep the people fed and well. 

Sometimes, I think to take the ceremonial dagger at my hip and cut myself to watch the blood, to feel the pain, and perhaps, it might lessen. Sometimes, I think to step out the window and fall to the stones below or to walk into the sea and join Viserys and Jace. Sometimes. It is strange that for all those days since my Mother’s death, my death was a certainty. Now that I am King and my life is more certain, I find myself thinking of my death more and more.

I approach Lord Tyland’s study cautiously. I do not want to be a bother and I have seen how he looks when he hears me enter a room as if I am filled with the worst of intentions. But Lord Stark said he would be trustworthy and I know he would not steer me wrong. Lord Tyland has just returned from Pentos and Braavos. 

I have found when I do things for others it helps me get through the hardest of days. I will be married in two days and I fear that my hesitancy to speak to Lord Tyland might mean I will not be able to have a gift for my bride, Princess Jaehaera.

Jaehaera is the strangest of girls. She rarely smiles or laughs but sometimes, she will if we are alone. She reads as often as she can and she is much better at her studies than I am. However, if the Maester or Septa try to teach her something, she becomes stubborn or willful and acts as if she cannot learn or even speak. Often, the only thing that will stop her is threatening to spank Gaemon. But she is to be my wife and I find that it is comforting that she will be mine and I hers for the rest of our days. After all, she understands what it is to be an orphan and to have all your siblings be taken from you when they were too young. I sometimes wonder if she has dark thoughts as I do. 

My sisters, Rhaena and Baela, have different opinions about her. Baela says she is simple like Targaryens sometimes are. She calls her odd and stupid. Baela thinks she must get it from her mother, Helaena, who threw herself out a window. I think to myself that I will never tell Baela about my dark thoughts or sadness. I do not think I mind if she is simple and odd, or even a little mad. Madness is something I might struggle with myself.

Rhaena says she will be fat like Queen Helaena was. I do not think I will care if she gets some weight. After all, Mother had grown fat after giving birth to all her sons. Father had called her curvy. What a curvy wife meant was there was plenty of food and many happy children. All of that seemed like a good life to me. Wasn't that what a happy life was? I had told both of them, “I hope she is plump and eats lots of cakes. I think that would be a fine thing.” 

This had made them laugh and tease me more about my upcoming wedding. 

I knock on the door and the young man who helps Lord Tyland opens the door, bows, and grants me entrance.

Lord Tyland rises, slightly unsteadily and welcomes me, “Your Grace, please come in. I did not expect your visit. How may I help you?”

Lord Tyland wears a crimson silk hood because people find it disturbing to look in his empty eye sockets and his difigured face. I know it is morbid but I wish he would remove it so I could see what really happened. It is a morbid faacination. As I sit in front of him, all I can think is Mother did that to this man. Lord Tyland looks at me, seeing nothing, facing the direction of my voice. Lord Tyland has been gelded, his fingers on his right hand are broken and he walks like an old man. All these things are Mother’s work. For a moment, I think of all I can remember about Lord Tyland and all I can think of is how many days he was held prisoner and under my mother’s torturer’s skilled hand.

 

I speak, hearing the hesitation in my voice. “My Lord, Mother had several rings removed before she was executed. I was hoping that I might have one of them.” 

“What do you want with your mother’s rings?”

I wish my voice sounded more kingly. Instead, all I hear is a sad boy’s voice. “I do not want all six, just one of them. The Fire Opal. The setting is thick in a Tyroshi fashion. My father had given it to my mother on the day they were wed. It is a Tyroshi custom. Mother said when I wed I would be given it to give to my bride. Now, that I will marry the Princess. I would like to give it to the Princess.” 

Tyland speaks, “Why do you think the Princess would want anything your mother wore on her fingers, especially something given to her by your father? Your parents are responsible for all her grief, for all the grief of the Seven Kingdoms.”

When Lord Tyland says mother, it sounds like he is saying monster or whore. I know he hates me, despises me, but he will respect me some day. He will kneel to me and my children. He is angry and as I look over the injuries that have been done to him, he is right to be angry. 

I think back to the dark days when we fled King’s Landing, Mother and I. Joffrey had died and all we had was a few Kingsguards, a bag of gold, some horses, her crown, and a few dragon eggs. Since Ser Lyonel Bentley was killed by the broken men on the frozen road, Mother has gotten worse, more afraid, more I can remember the crack in his skull and the grey material that lay underneath the blood. Mostly, I remember his screaming as he died in the wagon, screaming that we were all cursed, that we would all die in the fire and blood.

We had made it to the Dun Fort at Duskendale. The town was strangely quiet and half of it was a burned ruin. When they had reached the gates of the Dun Fort, Lady Darklyn had not wanted them to stay. House Stokeworth and Rosby had turned them away. Finally, Lady Meredith had relented after Ser Darke brought up Prince Aegon and an egg, a dragon’s egg.

Ser Darke had convinced his mother to give up one of the eggs for their safety, for one night of rest. Lady Meredith had relented Saying, “As a mother, I could not turn away the Prince. For the Prince. One night for your son,” she said smiling a smile at Aegon but Lady Meredith stroked the egg in her hand. 

Syrax had had a clutch of four eggs in the stables at the Red Keep, a moon before she died. It had been seen a sign of certain victory for the Blacks. Mother had not protested too much when she had turned over the egg. Strangely, she seemed quiet and proud, reserved. 

Later that night, as she lay beside me in a guest room, Mother had been unsettled and sat up in bed, twisting her rings. Since Syrax’s and Joff’s death, she had to sleep beside me, constantly waking me throughout the night, to touch me and make sure I was still breathing. Even though I was not quite ten, I knew Mother was not well. 

Mother spoke, laughing a broken laugh, “That stupid, old cow demanding I give her one of my eggs. She will get hers. She will. We must remember House Darklyn. Aegon, help Mama remember. Well, that dumb whore doesn’t know I gave her the smallest egg. The golden one. Let her have the golden egg. It reminded me of the Usurper. It is his color. Let House Darklyn have a traitor's egg. It will be a curse on their House.” 

 

I spoke, taking Mother’s hand, trying to soothe her, “Do not worry, Mother. What is one dragon egg? We will have more, many more.” 

Mother hugged me close, whispering. Her eyes were overbright and she was flushed. “I will tell you a secret, Aegon. Your father did not leave us all alone. His baby grows inside me. He left me one more before he died. A sister. We will name her Rhaenys and you will marry her.”

At these words, she had taken my hand and put it on her stomach, a big smile breaking her face. There was no movement, no hard bulge, nothing like when she had been pregnant with Visenya. I had a thought that my mother was lost in her madness and I would be left alone with this mad woman. There was no baby or else she would have told everyone before now. She had created one in her grief.

I had spoken quietly, in the darkness, “This is great news. Mama, all will be well. We will go to Dragonstone and hatch the eggs. You will have Rhaenys and we will be a family, safe and well.” 

Mother had continued her litany, “We must punish all those who stood against us! House Baratheons, House Lannister, the Hightowers! Remember all of them, Aegon. We will hatch these eggs. We will have three more dragons, a three-headed dragon. Do not worry, Aegon. All will be well. I will get my throne back! It is my birthright and one day you will be King. The gods decree it. We will punish all of our enemies.”

At this, I took my mother in my arms, like she was the child and I was the parent, “Yes, Mother. All will be well as soon as we get home to Dragonstone.” 

Before she had fallen asleep, she had told me, “And when you marry, I will give you this ring, the ring your father gave me on my wedding day. All will come full circle. All will be well.” 

 

I look at Lord Tyland Lannister and his injuries. It has been said he once wooed my mother and was one of her suitors. Now he hates her. He spoke against her claim for the throne. I think about his words, and I want to correct him, to tell him it was his words and his King and the King’s brothers that escalated all of this, that caused all the grief. Instead, I look at his face. There is no reason to avert my eyes to the damage that has been done. My defensive words will not change his mind. The Black Cells have hardened his truth. 

I take a deep breath and think what Jace would do. Jace had charm and wit, as well as wisdom. I speak, “That is true, my Lord. My Mother caused grief across the Seven Kingdoms. But since my wedding to the Princess is a sign of the war ending and the Greens and Blacks coming together united as one. I was hoping to give her a token of my affection and loyalty to her. It might build trust and show my affection. I have been told that the Princess has an affinity for silver and the setting is lovely, as is Jaehaera. It is the only thing I have of any worth that I could give her. She is the daughter of the true King and I am the son of two traitors. But we need to rebuild and heal. Lord Stark says winter has come and we must band together to brave it together. They say once you delighted in my mother’s attention and pursued her hand in marriage. We all have made mistakes but now is time to forgive and move on. Much has been lost. We need to rebuild what we can when we can.” 

Lord Tyland says, “Your Grace, I do not know where it is. It may have been lost. It may be on Dragonstone still.”

I thank him and leave his study, wondering how I will ever survive all of this, wondering how anything will ever heal. 

On the morning of my wedding day, a messenger brings a box from Lord Tyland Lannister. In it was his mother's ring, the Fire Opal in a silver Tyroshi setting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhaenyra giving an egg to House Darklyn is entirely made up, as is the ring but I liked this. 
> 
> Also, I know that some of Aegon's thoughts are pretty dark but he has been through a lot.


	6. 131 AC- King's Landing- Jaehaera

The bells of the Sept have rung fifty-seven times since I started counting. I do not know why I keep counting but I do. It is repetitive and comforting and it calms me. I am sure Aegon does not mind. He sits beside me during the feast. There are so many lords, ladies, knights, so many people in the great hall. They all come up to our table and pay their respects, wish us well, kiss my hand. Lord Corlys sits beside Aegon. 

Occasionally, when Aegon looks sad or brooding, Lord Corlys will lean in and whisper a joke in his ear. Aegon smiles sometimes but does not laugh. I wonder what jokes he tells him. 

When I am too distracted and play with the ring Aegon gave me on a silver chain, listening to the soft click as the metal rushes of the links in the chain, Grandmother pinches me on my arm. She pinches me when I am distracted or do not smile, or play with the ring or do anything I am not supposed too. I am certain my underarm is black and blue from all the pinches I have endured from her during my wedding feast. I think I would rather Lord Corlys sat on my side. 

On the ride to Visenya's Hill where the stands and a huge platform was built for our wedding, Aegon took my gloved hand in his. My gloves were green and his were black. The streets were full of well-wishers, screaming our names, even if it was a bitterly cold winter day. It is the coldest winter it has been in my whole life, at least that is what the Grand Maester said. The sea is frozen on the bay and children ice skate on it. None of the fountains work because the water is frozen. Grandmother makes me wear a white fur cloak to keep warm.

He looked out the leaded pane and takes a breath. Looking at me he smiled, “You seem to be nervous. Do not be.“ 

I remember what Grandmother told me to say to him. “Your Grace, I will be loyal. I will be obedient. I will swear this day and all of my days to help you any way I can.”

Aegon squeezes my cold hand. As he speaks, his words are smoke from the cold, “There is no need for all that. We are cousins. We are all that is left of our House. We are a family. Soon, you will be my wife. Do not be so formal. We should be friends.”

We stand in front of the High Septon in the open air, my breath is a puff of smoke and I fear my nose might be runny. I wonder if Mother and Father are watching from the Seven Heavens or the Seven Hells. I wonder if Aegon’s mother and father are watching, as well. I wonder what they must think. The Septon has me repeat some words. Aegon ties a dragon cloak around my shoulders and kisses me on the forehead. It is a brotherly kiss, a kiss Jaehaerys would give me or Uncle Aemond. 

There is a feast, big but not extravagant. After all, the kingdom is starving and winter is here, but it is big enough to say a King and Queen are married on this day. There are musicians, fools, jugglers, and fire-breathers. There are performances and songs written about us. All of them speak of how we will heal the nation. All of them say how our son will be the greatest King of all time. However, everyone will have to wait for some time for Aegon and me to have a child. 

When we are done eating the food, I lean in and ask my husband, “Your Grace, could we send the food to the orphans in Flea Bottom? They are starving.” 

 

“Of course,” he says, in agreement.

As the day progresses, couples dance on the floor. Some kiss. We do not do either. I do not mind. I do not want all those people to watch me. I do not want their eyes and judgment on me. It is sunset when the bedding is called. 

I know this is not a typical bedding. I am too young. Aegon is too young. I have not seen a wedding before ours, not one I remember. I wonder what a typical one must be like. I am certain it is surely not as grim as mine is. The High Septon walks us to our rooms. Aegon and I walk behind him. My Grandmother behind me. Lord Corlys behind him. Behind them are all the lords and ladies come to see us put to bed and our enmity put to rest.

When the King’s chambers are opened, I hear the sound escape my lips. There must be a hundred candles and the room is beautiful. The bed is all red and black, black velvet and red petals on the white sheet. Blackfyre lays from the head to the foot of the bed, dividing it between his space and mine Blackfyre is sheathed in its scabbard, so we will not be wounded by its deadly blade. 

As soon as I enter the room, I am ushered behind a screen where several maids quickly help me out of my wedding dress and into a simple white nightdress. Then, they gently push me into the room. I see that Aegon has had a similar experience and is pushed out in a similar nightdress. Slowly, the Lords enter the room and circle the bed to watch us, to verify and bear witness; Lord Stark, Lord Lannister, Lord Tully, Lord Manderly, Lord Velaryon, Lord Peake, Lord Blackwood, the High Septon, my Grandmother, Rhaena, and Baela. They watch me climb in bed in my nightdress on the left side and Aegon climbs on the right side. 

Blackfyre separates us and joins us. It will lay there until they say I am old enough to bear children. My Grandmother told me so, and she makes it her business to know everything.

 

Someone lays a sheet on us. The High Septon blesses us and sprinkles the sheets with Holy Oil. I lay there and look at the ceiling. Slowly, the lords and ladies drift out each with their blessings. Some make bawdy comments and laugh, slightly drunk. I do not understand most of them. My Grandmother has said she will stay here all night to make sure Aegon does not misuse me. However, after a while, she leaves too. Perhaps, she has more pressing concerns. She has told me that our situation has become more precarious. 

 

Ser Fell waits. It is his job to protect me. He will stay and stand in darkness. He walks behind a partition and he has my heavy quilt, the one that I need to sleep. 

Ser Fell speaks, “Your Grace, your wife, the Queen, finds it easier to sleep with this heavy blanket on her. Would that please your Grace, if I placed it on you?

I wait for laughter or a refusal. After all, I am not a baby but the Queen. Instead, I hear Aegon say, “That would please me a great deal. My wife’s happiness is my pleasure.”

Aegon smiles a sad smile. He speaks kingly words but he is just an orphaned child, like me. We are both alone and different. Strange children that do not laugh. Underneath the quilt, I reach over Blackfyre and take his hand. I squeeze it and he squeezes me back. 

I turn to him like I did when Jaehaerys and I would speak in bed. “I am glad to have a family again but I am even more glad to have a friend.” 

“Me too, Jaehaera. You are Queen. You are my wife and family. No one will hurt you, I promise.” 

 

I think to myself that he still has two sisters but then I think better of it. Instead, I think of my sore arm, all pinched and purple, from my Grandmother trying to correct me. Sometimes, hurt is necessary. After all, our situation is precarious and I make too many mistakes. I think that Aegon should not promise that no one will hurt me. He cannot keep that promise. Sometimes, those closest to us are the ones who hurt us. Sometimes, even the King cannot stop hurting.


	7. King's Landing 132 AC- Aegon

 

When I sit on the Iron Throne, I have dark thoughts like when will it cut me like it did my uncle and mother? I wonder if it would kill me like Maegor the Cruel, though in the end perhaps the Iron Throne kills all the Kings that have sat on it. My moods are dark as the cells they kept me in at Dragonstone, as dark as the blinding shadow that Sunfyre left when his golden fire burned mother, as dark as Stormcloud's wings, as dark and craven as my heart. 

It is hard for me to get out of bed. Gaemon comes to cheer me up. Baela will come and make me wash my face. But every muscle in my body hurts. I should not be King. I should not have survived Jace or Joff or Viserys. I should have taken Viserys on Stormcloud. I should not have been so craven. The kingdom is starving, sick, and freezing and I cannot even get up from my bed. Even if I could, the Regents would not let me do anything. 

Jaehaera comes. She stands silently like a ghost, her hands folded. I think I have a premonition that she will be dead before the year's end. I want to touch her hand but I cannot move. She is simple and sweet and childlike. She holds a doll. "Your Grace, Aegon, are you unwell?"

"No, I am fine."

She looks at me bending down to see me in the darkness. "Would you like to play?" 

"No...Not today." 

She flees crying saying something about how I am like her mother before she died. Maybe, I should throw myself from my window onto the iron spikes that surround Maegor's Holdfast. I could not do that to Jaehaera. She would be Queen and alone in this terrible place, unprotected. I fear no one can help me. No one can save me from myself. I cannot move from the dark. All is lost.

My Hand comes. Lord Lannister wears his red hood. He has become kinder to me, gentle, almost. I find I look forward to his meetings with me. Lord Lannister comes to tell me the news that there is the start of sickness in the Seven Kingdoms, He has told him that people are hungry and this will make them more susceptible to illness. Lord Lannister has said it would do the small folk good to see their King and that I should leave my bed. He tells me that the Queen is often crying. He speaks, "Perhaps, Your Grace, if you went to console your wife. She weeps and is sad. I have found when I am overwhelmed and in despair. Sometimes, it helps to bring care to others. Sometimes, it can help us. Perhaps, it would help, your Grace."

I think about it but find I do not have the energy. 

My sullenness and melancholy usually make people disappear. I could drown in my silence drown in the darkness of my bed sheets never move until the darkness and my grief swallows me. I do not know how long I lie there. At night, I cannot sleep. I pace the length of my room. In the day, I cannot rise. 

My wife stands over me looking at me. Finally, she speaks, "They say the Blackwater is frozen and small folk are skating on it. We could go to see it. Grandmother said we should not but I would like to see.”

I wonder why she won't go away like Baeala and Rhaena, like the Maesters. 

I breathe out slowly as if it takes all my strength to move and roll over looking at her “Yes let's go out today. Rhaena has said there is a doll maker that makes beautiful dolls and to see the Blackwater frozen that would be a sight. Perhaps, you could wait for me while I dress." 

She had looked like she might cry but she smiles a slight smile. The tears that threatened to fall from her beautiful purple eyes disappear. 

 

It is a huge procession when the King and Queen leave the Red Keep but Lord Lannister does not stop them. We ride out in a palanquin that has the three-headed dragon carved and painted on both sides. There are five Kingsguard that accompany us, as well as regular soldiers from the City Watch. Even though it is cold, the people come to the streets to see the King and Queen pass. Occasionally, my Queen will wave to the children but her eyes look fearful. I remember what a crowd did to her brother. 

We go to the shopkeeper first. The man is thin and tells us of how he stayed in Oldtown with a cousin during the war. He talks of the price of bread and how much meat has risen in cost. He tells me that he has only recently returned to work now that King's Landing is safe for an honest tradesman and his stock is light still. There are only a few dozen cloth ones, a few wooden ones, and some wooden animals. On the high shelf, there is one doll made with porcelain with silver hair and purple eyes.

Jaehaerys eyes lighten. 

I speak, "Good man, how much for this doll?" 

The man bows and scrapes around, unsure what to do with the King here, "Your Grace, your father once bought dolls for your sisters here."

I do not want to hear this man’s stories or trade pleasantries. I want to buy a doll. I look to the Kingsguard who always watches Jaehaera, Ser Fell, to pay the man which he does. 

When they hand his wife the doll, her eyes grow big. In the carriage, she holds it like a baby, cooing gently to it and holding it softly. I smile and think that my Hand may be right. The day has helped me. We stop by the Blackwater. It is solid and unmoving, like a stage of ice or a road. The smallfolk skate upon it. There are vendors on the ice, hawking their wares. Ser Fell gets us some roasted chestnuts and I peel them for her and myself, munching on them the way back to the Red Keep. 

 

Later she comes to my room. I am in bed. She climbs next to me, holding the doll still. She is smiling and I think I have not seen her smile so often as I have today. "Your Grace, what shall we name our baby?" 

"Our baby?"

She lifts up the doll in her arms, "Our baby." 

I feel a smile break my face and sit up, "Jaehaera, why don't we name her Helaena after your mother?"

"No. No, not Mother. Maybe we could name her Alyssa after our Great-Grandmother. Then she will be both Black and Green. Like all our children."

I smile again and touch the doll, "I think Alyssa is a fine name for a good girl."


End file.
